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Welcome To Socially Retarded

If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster."

"People who know little are usually great talkers,
while men who know much say little."

"It is difficult to say what is impossible, for the dream of yesterday is the hope of today and the reality of tomorrow."

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One of the matrons of the church was cooking a pot of her famous beans for the church potluck, and her son, Little Johnny, came running through the house, BB gun in one hand, and a handful of BB's in the other. He tripped and the BB's, naturally, went right into the pot of beans.
Thinking it over, Little Johnny could think of no reason why he should risk punishment, so he said nothing.
The dinner went well, and, as usual, the beans were one of the favorite dishes. The next day, the church secretary, Mary, called Little Johnny's mother and said, "Jane, your beans were delicious as usual, but what did you put in them this time?"
Jane replied, "Nothing new, why do you ask?"
"Well," said Mary, "this morning I bent over to feed the cat and I shot the canary!"

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Funky Sound

Can you imagine working for a company that has a little more than 500 employees
and have the following statistics
 
29 have been accused of spousal abuse
7  have been arrested for fraud
19  have been accused of  writing bad checks
117  have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses
3  have done time for assault
71  can not get a credit card due to bad credit
14  have  been arrested on drug-related charges
8  have been arrested for shoplifting
21 are curently defendants in lawsuits
84 have been arrested for drunk driving in the last year
Can you guess which organization this is?
 

If you know the answer press here mailto:dalerose0@lycos.com

If you want to know press here Can You Imagine

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"You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely."

Spark Plug, Spinning

The reasonable man adapts himself to the world, the unreasonable  man attempts to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends upon the unreasonable man.
 

Enterprise
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 People over 30 should be dead.
 >
 > Here's why ............
 >
 > According to today's regulators and bureaucrats, those of us who were
 > kids in the 40's, 50's, 60's, or even maybe the early 70's probably
 > shouldn't have survived. Our baby cribs were covered with bright colored
 > lead-based paint.
 >
 > We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets, ...
 > and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets. (Not to mention the risks
 > we had hitchhiking.)
 >
 > As children, we would ride in cars with no seatbelts or air bags.
 > Riding in the back of a pickup truck on a warm day was always a special
 > treat.
 >
 > We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle. Horrors!
 >
 > We ate cupcakes, bread and butter, and drank soda pop with sugar in it,
 > but we were never overweight because we were always outside playing.
 >
 > We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle, and no one
 > actually died from this.
 >
 > We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then rode
 > down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into
 > the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.
 >
 > We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were
 > back when the street lights came on.
 >
 > No one was able to reach us all day. NO CELL PHONES!!!!!
 > Unthinkable!
 >
 > We did not have Playstations, Nintendo 64, X-! Boxes, no video games at
 > all, no 99 channels on cable, video tape movies, surround sound,
 > personal cell phones, personal computers, or Internet chat rooms. We had
 > friends! We went outside and found them.
 >
 > We played dodge ball, and sometimes, the ball would really hurt. We
 > fell out of trees, got cut and broke bones and teeth, and there were no
 > lawsuits from these accidents.
 >
 > They were accidents. No one was to blame but us. Remember accidents?
 > We had fights and punched each other and got black and blue and learned
 > to get over it.
 >
 > We made up games with sticks and tennis balls and ate worms, and
 > although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many
 > eyes! Nor did the worms live inside us forever.
 >
 > We rode bikes or walked to a friend's home and knocked on the door, or
 > rang the bell or just walked in and talked to them.
 >
 > Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who
 > didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment.
 >
 > Some students weren't as smart as others, so they failed a grade and
 > were held back to repeat the same grade. Horrors! Tests were not
 > adjusted for any reason. Our actions were our own. Consequences were
 > expected.
 >
 > The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke a law was unheard of.
 > They actually sided with the law. Imagine that!
 >
 > This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers and problem
 > solvers and inventors, ever. The past 50 years have been an explosion
 > of innovation and new ideas.
 >
 > We had freedom, failure, success! And responsibility, and we learned
 > how to deal with it all.
 >
 > And you're one of them! Congratulations!
 >
 > People under 30 are WIMPS !
 >

 

This page is for all who likes to look stupid.
Like Me.

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With all this talk of diversity there is no mention of all the pain we smart creatures have to endure while surrounded by dolts.

Someone once said,"Hell is the impossibility of hope", abandon all hope ye who enter here.

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